How I defeat Impostor Syndrome

What do I do to defeat Impostor Syndrome?

I realized I could of title this blog post differently, 10 ways to defeat Impostor Syndrome, but I feel there are only 2 things I did to defeat Impostor Syndrome.

When I started attending Ruby Meetups last fall I heard of the term Impostor Syndrome briefly but never really took the time to look into it. I quite honestly never heard of the term prior to my journey into web  development but it seems to be an issue that actually all types of people and fields.

I listened to the a recent podcast unrelated to programming where the host explained his suffer through impostor syndrome while attending his first classes in med school.

"Impostor Syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments."

In my previous career I made a huge effort to obtain a job in sales without any prior sales experience. I spent a good amount of time researching interview and sales techniques to only be turned down for multiple positions because of my lack of experience. I was even turned down for my first sales position, but due to to the first candidate failing their drug test (which I found out later from a co-worker); I was called back a week later and offered the position. I of course accepted the position but couldn't help but spend the next two years thinking that I did not belong there.

The thought that I was never good enough and that I would eventually be figured out as a fraud (hypothetical)  crossed my mind multiple times during my time in sales. Within my first 2 weeks I closed a significantly large deal and didn't make a big deal about because I thought it was not good enough.  My drive became not settling for skating by and doing just enough. This unintentionally caused me to become promoted twice within 4 months.

Accept It

In my own words, Impostor Syndrome is not something that ever goes away, I realized this buries the lead, but if you understand this concept it can be a great way to defeat it daily. Similar to fear, it will never leave you 100% in life and even the fear of failure will always come up in your career. I know I am not the best at software engineering but strive to be a decent great engineer.

It's possible in sales to become insincere due to their lack of confidence and end up presenting a false image of confidence. It is highly possible you have to fake it to make in a career, but it only alienates you from others putting you on a shaky pedestal. By accepting your faults it makes it easier to understand what areas you might need help in and helps you challenge Impostor Syndrome head on.

My suggestion is not elevate yourself into something you are not, but rather learn from your peers and and openly admit that you do not know. Within my first week in sales I was told to never tell a customer that you do not know, but rather tell them you will find out. I sit here writing this post today with problems I have yet to figure out in Ruby and no plan to solve them. I do plan to research my answers, but I also plan to reach out for help and assistance when stuck.

There is no doubt the company I work for today took a chance on me, as an aspiring engineer with no experience, and I feel everyday that I must prove that their decision was worth it. I swallow my pride knowing I made a leap so many strive for and keep my eyes on the next goals of the day. My hard work does not stop because I have gain employment, it only just began.

I am a bit of a listener and love learning from others, not only in programming, but in life generally. I have learned that even the most decorated and influential people in my life deal with Impostor Syndrome. I have also the realized the individuals who have no need to worry about Impostor Syndrome are the individuals who are stagnant in their careers and abilities. Most can grow content in a position where they have expert knowledge in, never challenge or pushed to try something new or hard.

Impostor Syndrome is great way to encourage yourself to strive harder and admit your weakness to eventually strengthen them. Use the fear of not being good enough to work on areas you can improve in.

Do Something(Step outside you comfort zone)

I heard of how a study was conducted on monkeys where they placed 5 monkeys in a room where bananas were placed in the center room, only reached by access of a rope. When a monkey could make it half way up the rope a man in the same room used a firehose to spray the monkey off the rope, cruel but stay tuned for the meaning. Eventually each monkey tried until they realized the futility of trying for the banana.

The second stage of the study involved each monkey being replaced by a new monkey, which was quickly discouraged by the others not to attempt for the bananas without the aide of the water hose. It got the point where monkeys in the room were replaced by individuals that had not experienced the fire hose but knew to discourage any new monkey.

When I started into web development with everyone telling me how hard it was, I even avoided the Hartl tutorial because everyone told me it was very difficult. I smile when I think about that because the tutorial itself it not as difficult as perceived, seeing how all the code is handed to you to type into your IDE, the only impediment is starting.

I started an online study group on the internet because I knew I needed help from others and sought out to associate my self like-minded individuals. I had a local meetup available to me to meet and chat with other local Rubyist but it only occurred once a month. The group I started was RubyNewbies and it propelled my learning immensely. Prior to RubyNewbies I had the fear that I couldn't complete the most basic of applications in Ruby, but once I realized the best way to beat that was to do something about it.

I pushed my self into a role of sharing my knowledge of what I learned literally a week prior in order to identify areas for improvement in myself, if I could explain it to other Newbies, I did not know it well enough. When I first heard of the Odin Project I jumped into the Rails Study group to capture missing knowledge needed to eventually get a programming job. I chose to lead a separate study group in order to propel my weaknesses into strengths.

Every video I recorded I had the fear that I would be asked a questions I could not ask or be given a problem I could not solve, but instead of quitting I accepted the challenge. I chose to record the videos to not only keep myself consistent but also make it available for others. There were multiple times where I stumbled over my own slides and even said I don't know but I chose to continue my journey towards learning Ruby.

I eventually completed the Odin Ruby curriculum, even while accepting a job as a Software engineer and moving 100 miles across the state of Florida. My determination to prove to others that I could make was really a way of proving to myself that Impostor Syndrome could be defeated. When interviewing I flat out said I did not know, but I could find the answer in a Google search. I even said stated that I was barely a decent programmer, but I had a strong desire to learn. Selling my faults with my strengths was something I would never of done in a sales interview. In sales I avoided sharing my weakness in order to sell myself as the Impostor. This is not a practice of all sales professionals, but it's what I thought I needed to do to get by.

Accepting that Impostor Syndrome is real is the first step but actually doing something to challenge it head on is the second step. I am glad I had the opportunity to make this career change and come to realization of how to accept and change my outlook towards Impostor Syndrome.

Summing it up

There are intentionally only two steps to defeat impostor Syndrome to avoid getting lost in a perpetual planning cycle. My goal is to encourage others with a story and 2 step process to create more encouragers.

Impostor Syndrome is unfortunately not something you can defeat once with no need to worry about in the future. If you are like myself with goals, dreams, and aspirations you will deal with this regularly. The key is accepting it and deciding what you are going to do about it and if you feel you are in a position where Impostor Syndrome is not a problem, I have to asked: Are you stagnant in your personal development? Are you helping to grow others by creating an encouraging environment?

I am not an expert in Psychology, I have some life experiences and hope that this post can encourage those that read it. This is a post I have wanted to write for awhile but coincidentally did not feel I could for reasons implied in the above paragraphs. Writing is just one way I defeated Impostor Syndrome today.

Best of luck with your journey and thanks for reading.